“Let us live for the beauty of our own reality” – Charles Lamb
I’ve been thinking a lot about writing such an article. But if you’ve been wandering through my “About” section, you might have noticed that everything that is related to our vision of our own body and our definition of beauty is very dear to me. I know that it might sound strange on a food blog, and that some people that cannot understand that might judge me for what I am about to share; but I am not doing this in a self-pity way, or trying to show off. What I am aiming at is showing you all that look is unhealthily essential in our society, and that people who are suffering from body distortions, eating disorders, or simple feelings of self-disgust are more present than we think. For last week’s National Nude Day, I posted a special photo on Instagram, which served as a brief introduction to today’s article. This very special Monday Motivation is going to be about our definition of beauty, about empowering ourselves and trying to jump on the track of self-trust and self-love.
Let me first tell you a quick but tell-tale story. Back in 2015, when I fell into the vicious circle of anorexia, I was a going through a living nightmare. On the one hand I could not spend a day without weighing myself, up to two times a day, which is quite disturbing and useless, thinking about it afterwards. But on the other hand, my mirror was my enemy; during the first two months, I could not even watch my own face in the mirror, too ashamed, disappointed and disgusted about what I could capture into it…my own reflection. But then, out of the blue, everything changed. I started staring at my bare skin, my bones, my skinny curves, feeling a weird, strong but intoxicating feeling of fascination; what I could see in the mirror was beautiful, but not enough. I was still fat, felt fat, could feel the fat….
Living in the constant fear of putting on weight, on changing my body outline, on disappointing people, and especially myself, for not being like those thin, successful and beautiful people that seemed to be so happy and lively, was a burden I would want anyone to put up with.
After months of hard and dedicated work, sufferings and anxieties, I’ve been able to destroy what I thought was my reality and create a brand new beautiful self; and I finally got what was the genuine sense of beauty…
First of all, beauty is not about one’s look, one’s curves, one’s muscles, one’s physical strength, all of those being defined by unreal and poisonous norms that only a very very tinny part of the world’s population embody. Beauty may be found deep inside each one of us, through our smiles, laughs, actions, emotions, through our values and thoughts. There is no physical and tangible definition of beauty, but just billions different ways to be morally and internally beautiful.
Secondly, you are who you are. Accept yourself, show yourself to the world, be proud of how you look, who you are and what you’ve become. As a former anorexic, I can finally watch myself in the mirror with pride and happiness, without this altered vision of my body, admiring those lively curves that I thought would never come back. I am far from over here, still thinking about my belly, which is still gives me a complex. This is what I am asking you not to feel, this is what you must fight against. You are beautiful, you are unique and people love you for that!
Thirdly, be proud of yourself and accept yourself just as you are. What I’ve learnt from those long and sometimes frustrating hours, facing my doctor, talking about myself, my flaws, my fears and anxieties, is that perfection does not exist. However, what does exist is excellency, and this is something that must be defined only by yourself. You are the one who define what’s best for you, what are your goals, dreams and therefore, what does excellency means to you! Moreover, the most important thing is to accept your flaws, may they be physical, or psychological, simply because those who like you, like you entirely. Venture deep inside down, make that inner journey, think about and look for that inner beauty; only the people who know themselves and accept themselves as they are may grab the true meaning of beauty.
Fourthly, do not judge anyone by one’s cover or look; there might be so many dark things hidden behind. We all tend to get carried away and judge people without even knowing them and we’re never too aware of what that can cause…
And finally, be your own definition of beauty. As I said earlier, people who truly love you, love you as you are, no matter how you look, what you wear or what you do. What makes you beautiful for them is seeing you thriving, blooming, realising your dreams, becoming who you’ve always wanted to become, smiling, finding your passion, your path, your light… In our society, beauty tends to get distorted; think about it as all the pretty things that touch you heart, all those things that cheer you up, make you thankful for being alive, because after all, beauty is not only about looks…
The journey to our inner self may never be achieved. We’re always discovering ourselves, all the way until the end…that’s the beauty of life. Well now, what’s your definition of beauty ?
(Please answer below if you’d like, I am highly interested in your feedbacks or answer! And if you’d like to react or to share other personal stories with me, you’re very welcome to do so. And if you’re feeling insecure about your body or inside your mind, do not hesitate and share it; even though this is a path that must be taken alone, it may only feel great to be helped and supported ;))